when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
