Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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