What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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