Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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