I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
