We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
