I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
