Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
