that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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