He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
