Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Your face is a jimmy john
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
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