Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
