whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
