how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
