Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
