just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
