so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
