i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
