yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
