my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
handjob tips. give me some.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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