if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
