Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
