Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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