Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
