I can tuck mytits in my pants
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
