quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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