you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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