So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
