Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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