Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just google imaged poop.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
