No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
