it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
