I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
