I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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