i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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