You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
