oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
