I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
