so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
