holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
