I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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