dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
