Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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