He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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