Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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