I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
