girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
