If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
