he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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