she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
