does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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