honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he thought i was a dude.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
