beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
They took my balls.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
