i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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