Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
